“I think the single gals, anti-Valentine’s Day thing is a little played out. The romantic Valentine’s thing is a little played out too.”
It was these wise words of the actress, comedienne and all around boss ass bish Anna Kendrick that made me realise what my opinion of the “day of love” truly was. I am not what you would call a hater, nor am I like my mother who has made adorable heart shaped edible goodies in honour of 14th of February.
That being said, I am also absolutely addicted to all forms of Romantic fiction and no, Fifty Shades of Grey is not even in my top 500 books in terms of romance or good sex scenes. Let me give you a little background, my journey with romance novels started in the summer of 2010, during the long vacation post Class 10 board exams when I discovered my mother’s old Penny Jordan Mills and Boons. Mind you these books my mother read only after she got married, now that we have the hawwww factor out of the way, let’s get back on topic.
Starting with Penny Jordans, moving onto the online Harlequin reads and then graduating onto the wide world of the internet which has scores of eBooks of the romantic nature to be devoured,where I read all kinds of sci-fi and supernatural beings in love. Outside the paranormal genre I discovered the numerous contemporary and historical romance, but the best of all are the Young Adult and New Adult romances, because nothing can beat the hopefulness of 15-25 year olds who think love can conquer all. Mind you a lot of these books sought to describe how love can’t exactly conquer all and life gets in the way, so do jobs, and geographical distance.
By now you get the idea of just how many such books I have read, according to my laptop memory I have read double digit GBs of eBooks since I joined Law School so go figure. My take away from all these books is not unrealistic standards of romance and dramatic trysts or explosive lovemaking, sorry but that’s not it. What I have imbibed from these books is the fact that love brings happiness, you don’t have to be in love to appreciate the concept of love and sheer joy that it can bring. Some say it is the tragic nature of love that is beautiful or that no love is devoid of pain. I agree to an extent, life cannot be devoid of harsh truths and negativity and hence we can’t expect love to be all about puppy kisses and kitten purrs. It will be difficult, but ultimately it will be worth the smile your loved one puts on your face. It is the fluttery feeling inside your tummy and the crazy anticipation to see them which makes people go searching for love, the comfortable companionship and (pardon me for the cliche) the feeling of being home.
Now how does my opinion of Valentine’s Day figure into this? Well as I sat struggling to work on a paper about Financial Fraud I had an epiphany. Why is that when I read novels about other people in love, it just makes me so happy while immediately uplifting my mood; but the whole hullabaloo around Valentine’s Day leaves me feeling vaguely embarrassed, lonely and grumpy? If we can appreciate RomComs and novels, why can’t we just accept that people need a particular day to represent one of the nicest things about being human: The emotion of Love.
All the arguments about it being a commercial gimmick for capitalists to sell more cards, roses, teddy bears and chocolates are valid of course, but that doesn’t mean we need to boycott the whole event, let’s just take their idea and own it. Ideas can’t be copyrighted, so why not re-purpose this day and make it about the feeling of all kinds of love rather than being all about Hetero-normative Couples. Without supporting the whole mandatory on giving your special someone a gift angle, why can’t we just celebrate the fact that there are people in our lives who love us? Romantic love, filial love, love for your animal and human friends, the key is to celebrate this wonderful and probably chemical phenomenon to the fullest. In the rat race of life we often forget to make people feel special, and here is this day reminding us to do so by waving red heart balloons in our faces and saying, “Hey! If not before, you can express your love and appreciation today!”
Just because you aren’t currently in love or can’t have the person you want doesn’t mean you have to be glum about the V-day, let it give you hope that there is so much love going into the universe, sometime, somewhere it will get back to you. And no, it will not get back through those impulsive text messages to your crush or your ex; that my friend will only leave you sad because you’re likely be ignored, pitied, patronised or rebuffed. Just hold on to your horses, the reasons that made you decide to be unattached and single will continue to exist on 15th of February, or maybe sometime soon that status quo will change.
But you know what won’t change? The fact that you are a good person who has an immense capacity to love and care. The other 364/5 days of the year you will learn a little more about life and living, use that wisdom to bring happiness in the lives of the people around you, and in the bargain you might find the person who wants to do the same for you…